- Flexibility and the ability to adapt and go with the flow is key. Being stubborn usually doesn’t do you any good. You really do limit and hinder your own opportunities when you refuse to grow or see things in a positive light. You can’t let one thing in your life decide your future, your past or your disposition. You shouldn’t.
- Relationships, whether in friend form or romantic, will not prosper if either person concentrates more on him/herself than both people together. Compromise is vital as well as doing things in a way that will work out best for the both of you. It’s essential to find methods of communication that are effective for both parties.
- However much weight the previously mentioned lesson may carry, it’s also pretty crucial to understand the necessity of sacrifice in small doses. This does not mean you have to chop off your arm or your leg for your partner or friend, nor does it mean you should consistently be putting everyone else’s needs before your own. It simply means that sometimes you have to know what’s most important to the other person and go a little bit out of your way to respect that. That said, it also means that the other person should do the same. Relationships are about the give and the take. And at the risk of being completely cheesy and cliché, The Beatles said it the best: “And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.”
- Taking care of yourself and putting your basic physical and emotional needs first is always okay. There’s no reason to put someone else’s needs before yours at the expense of losing sight of your own wellbeing. You are not a bad person because you find importance in celebrating your health. You owe your entire existence to no one, and while it’s acceptable to give bits and pieces of yourself to others, there’s no reason to do something against your best interest or give up everything you’ve ever known for someone. Starting with self-improvement and self-love is a good thing. Then, you’ve already got a foot in the door when it comes to loving another.
- Anyone who doesn’t want you or need you in their life just doesn’t want or need you in their life. You do not need to fish for a reason or an explanation – quit that. I know it hurts. But it’s really as simple as that. In the past year, I’ve lost more people than I’d care to mention. But I’m doing fine without them, and they’re doing fine without me. It’s a sad truth that isn’t fun to realize but if someone wants you in their life, you’ll be there, and if they don’t, you won’t. No manipulation or begging is necessary. That type of relationship will never be satisfactory in the long run. In fact, you should probably follow the same rule for yourself. Get rid of the hollow people you pour relentless amounts of effort into.
- Flip side of that: keep people in your life who are positive and supportive, and not people who are greedy, negative, or hinder your growth as a person. Encouragement is such a beautiful and contagious thing. Surround yourself with people who make you want to pay it forward. Life is too short to be selfish.
- Trusting people is not the worst thing in the world, and it’s okay to be vulnerable. However, the second that someone shows you they aren’t worthy of your trust, you owe them nothing. Does that mean you can’t give them a second chance? No. It does mean, though, that you don’t have to trust them with your words or your time or anything for that matter. And if you continue to do so over and over yet complain about it, that’s no one’s fault but yours. Recognize the authority you have over your life. You can say no.
- This is huge. Take responsibility for your actions and the consequences that come on behalf of them. If you made a decision to say or do something, you don’t get to blame anybody else for what happened. Taking responsibility might make you feel bad or hopeless, but it can ultimately lead to good things. When you do this, people will view you as a reliable person who owns up to their mistakes and takes accountability for his/her own life.
- With that, taking responsibility for things that you’ve done wrong in the past does not mean that you get to blame and beat yourself up. Blaming yourself as opposed to accepting that your life is in your control is merely counterproductive and can very easily lead to destructive habits.
- A day is just a number. There is always something to learn before you lay your head on your pillow at night. If you’re going to let one thing dictate how you are for the rest of your life – don’t. It’s as simple as that. Whether it’s a college acceptance letter or a college rejection letter, a yes to a relationship status or an “I think we need to break up” talk, someone dying or someone being born. Whatever it is, don’t wallow in the seemingly hopeless situations you’ve been placed in the middle of — change them or change yourself. You have to learn to make your life enjoyable in spite of what surrounds you. In the end, you’re stuck with yourself. There’s no way around that. Whether you’re at a small private school in the middle of nowhere or Harvard University, alone at 60 years old or with an abundance of people who love you, working a dead-end job that you despise or doing what you love. It’s not about the roads you choose, the goals you set or even the destination. It’s all about how you walk it. Remember that.
Oh. And lastly, as long as you are willing to accept love in your life, it will be there somewhere for the taking.