Trying to start over again can be a really, really hard and frustrating thing to do sometimes. Not necessarily due to the fact that it may or may not be avoidable, but that either way, it’s a true inconvenience 78% of the time. You sit around your room and you cry a lot… You either eat way too much or not nearly enough. You spend a lot of time by yourself. You stare at everything — the back of your hands, the scars you painted on your thighs and that unwanted part of your stomach that never seems to go away. You find yourself sitting criss-cross applesauce in front of the mirror (not in the conceited way, of course) while you try to figure out what exactly went wrong. Really far-fetched questions come to mind like, “Was it something that I did? Could I have prevented this exact moment from happening if I had done just one single thing a little bit differently than normal?” You have these silly conversations in your head like you’re actually capable of figuring life out in your solitude. You fuel the fire by spending too much time looking at old photos and “accidentally” running into all of the memory-filled places. You spend an unusual amount of time getting caught up in the way that you look and the way that you act — all in the interest of trying to figure out how to be different and to still like yourself because suddenly, you’re no longer wanted the way you that used to be. You try to flirt with new people and new ideas, carrying on useless small talk just to know you’re still capable of receiving the slightest amount of attention. You either get caught up in the past or you worry too much about the future and how things aren’t going the way you had hoped they would, and all of a sudden, you are 20 going on 35 and you’re right back to being in the same roller-coaster emotional state you were in at 18. As your years start to pass by you faster and faster, as the months end and a new one begins, how are you supposed to start over again when each time seems to get a little bit harder than the last?
You wake up every day and you preach to yourself. You love God, you love other people, and you give yourself the credit that your huge heart deserves. You know that bad days are undoubtedly going to come, but you get out of bed and tackle them anyway. You get out of your comfort zone — everyone is your friend. You smile a little bit bigger, even when it’s hard and you always, always, always appreciate yourself. Know that at the end of the day, you’re the one who carries the weight of your body, the weight of your heart, and the weight of your circumstances. That’s impressive. You’re a survivor. Each day that you wake up is a victory that should be celebrated, never wasted.
Don’t let one person or one situation determine the direction of your life. Let God dance and breathe Truth over you, filling you with life and light and guidance. Your identity is in Him — the God of this Universe — not in the flesh or anything of the world.
Love God. Love people. Love yourself.
The rest will follow. And even though there may be pain in the night, we can know that joy comes in the morning.